tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post3234568186261141089..comments2023-04-12T04:32:36.404-05:00Comments on A Fearsome Beauty: Comments on RespectMuddy Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07937615888562277779noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post-20970283978392700422011-06-27T10:23:55.659-05:002011-06-27T10:23:55.659-05:00Well said - I think you've nailed it - the iss...Well said - I think you've nailed it - the issue is trust, not respect.Junehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13428008814751524182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post-71987760881341125232011-06-26T17:37:22.298-05:002011-06-26T17:37:22.298-05:00I have been doing a lot of thinking about your pos...I have been doing a lot of thinking about your posts about respect. For me, it is actually not about respect; like you, I think respect is fear managed and packaged to be acceptable. To me it is first and foremost about trust. Mutual trust between horse and human. I wouldn't ride a horse I don't trust, because I don't think it's safe to do so. If I don't trust the horse why then should he trust me? <br /><br />Scout sounds a bit like Cassie, hot and anxious and probably very sensitive too? I keep thinking about "How the NFL pertains, Part III". You describe that fall you had off Scout because your mind overruled your instinct. Trust your own instinct about what Scout is trying to say.twohorseshttp://twohorses.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post-23166747052165965932011-06-24T13:01:18.959-05:002011-06-24T13:01:18.959-05:00Among horses, dominance and leadership are two ver...Among horses, dominance and leadership are two very different things. The corollary of dominance is submission rather than respect. I think in the past I was guilty of (oh-so-kindly-and-gently) exacting submission, rather than learning how to exercise leadership.<br /><br />In our herd of four, the dominance hierarchy is exactly the upside-down opposite of the leadership hierarchy. Number One in dominance - he who Gets What He Wants When He Wants It - is least able to lead the others, while Number Four (the most courageous and independent one, yet last in line at the feeding trough) is the one the others all follow. Number Three (two can steal food from her-one is below her) is currently the herd leader, as she has figured out how to drive Number Four where she wants to go herself, thus causing Number One and Two to follow Number Four in the desired direction.Junehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13428008814751524182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post-4827712211568366142011-06-23T15:44:42.145-05:002011-06-23T15:44:42.145-05:00I know for me part of the problem has to do with m...I know for me part of the problem has to do with my own upbringing by an abusive parent. I'm still learning how to differentiate respect from fear. <br /><br />Some people never try to separate the two. I still gnash my teeth over the memory of the old barn owner defending using a chain on my mare by saying, "Oh she doesn't have a problem with the chain, she just respects it." Respects it my buttocks- she fears it and that's why you can't catch her you *#@$%*.smazourekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03029180368325070266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post-7228444449881406892011-06-23T11:11:13.313-05:002011-06-23T11:11:13.313-05:00I should add that giving Chloe this respect has ch...I should add that giving Chloe this respect has changed her from a creature whom most people thought was one of the most difficult horses they'd ever had to deal with into one who is - well, a mensch.Junehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13428008814751524182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post-76496752345548804752011-06-23T11:08:17.073-05:002011-06-23T11:08:17.073-05:00I like the way you've picked out different tho...I like the way you've picked out different thoughts that stand out to you.<br /><br />I've found that in my case at least, progress works by some kind of dialectic - picking up disparate, even conflicting themes or ideas, and - rather than trying to choose between or make them agree - allow them to ferment together in my mind until some way forward presents itself.<br /><br />It was our pony Chloe who started me on the Spilker Track. Chloe has never approved of being dominated, although she has to put up with it from the other horses. For many months after I decided to really respect Chloe, and to allow her maximum say in what happens to her, she refused to leave the pasture with me. All that has changed, and she and I are now on very good terms. What I can "do" with her is, however, much more limited than it once was - although the list of things she will allow is growing. I hold less dominance over her than before, but she respects me a whole lot more - evinced by the fact that she seeks out my company.<br /><br />This is definitely the Slow Track. But these are the only horses I have, and I'm prepared to take the time.Junehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13428008814751524182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post-13749609413503402522011-06-23T09:29:36.422-05:002011-06-23T09:29:36.422-05:00Wonderful food for thought. And all people blesse...Wonderful food for thought. And all people blessed to own a horse(s) should give this thought.<br />Thank you! Great post!!Daisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05576090634674056178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post-71072325302928470542011-06-23T08:43:32.424-05:002011-06-23T08:43:32.424-05:00Fantastic post and comments. Wow. Lots to think ab...Fantastic post and comments. Wow. Lots to think about.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11609268980526224486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post-57900871195795574872011-06-23T06:03:52.099-05:002011-06-23T06:03:52.099-05:00I did a post on this very subject a while ago - On...I did a post on this very subject a while ago - On Respect, Obedience and Submission - I think it's on one of my sidebars - this is a worthwhile subject for all horse people to think seriously about.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5948751560813372065.post-44340192084619988602011-06-23T02:41:21.334-05:002011-06-23T02:41:21.334-05:00I love the way your thinking gets me to thinking. ...I love the way your thinking gets me to thinking. I spent quite a bit of time pondering on your orginal post on this and couldn't get any of my thoughts written down in any way that would make sense. Thanks for making me think!Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04068684611506771719noreply@blogger.com