A Fearsome Beauty: December 2012

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Following the Path

It's time for me to formalize putting my horse journal on hiatus. Why? Maybe because it's a strange thing about human beings the tendency not to dwell on what is good.

August 2010 Mare, I called this photo taken the day we met.

Saxony will carry me home to where I've always dreamed to be with a horse, just one horse. She already is, already has. Looking at her has made me see me, and it's not all bad.

We Are Just Right Together October 2012 I call this one.

Looking at her has made me understand how it has been that I have always been looking at horses, all my life, even when I was away from them. She was a big part of me asking myself why, asking what it is it still after all of this time? And that brought up in me an idea that was then sparked through conversation with a cherished friend, an idea that turned out to be All Horse Vintage, my shop on Etsy. There I'm plumbing the depths of the history of the horse and the human/horse interaction, exploring, studying, learning. I'm loving it with a passion because history draws me, writing heartens me, and horses help me. I'm committed to the journey, so that's where I'll be for a while, recording vintage horse discoveries and mysteries in another blog until I have hold of the reins well enough to return to this one.

Despite the fact that I've maintained A Fearsome Beauty as primarily a private journal, I set it to public view and somehow 68 of you found it and became regular readers. I appreciate very much the things you've said (and haven't said) and feel honored that you've spent the time. I read many horse blogs myself and understand how hours can vanish into thin air when we're reading the thoughts of others bound by the love of horses. I'll keep reading, and if you'd like to see my second blog, just leave a comment and I'll let you know when it goes live via a visit to your own blog soon after the first of the New Year.

About This Journal

I began this journal to think through my experience with a mare I bought in 2004, after years away from riding, and then my start-over with a gelding I acquired in 2009. The one horse shook my confidence as a rider; I hoped to rebuild it with the other. I eventually gave back the horse I thought could help me overcome my anxiety and there before me stood again the horse with whom I choked in the first place.

It sounds like I traveled in a circle, yet not only did I change, but in 2010 I bought another horse, a kind, affectionate Appendix mare who seemed to fall from the sky. "Third time's a charm," they say. It was true for me in love, now let it be true in horses.

I strive to write truthfully about fear, doubt and tension, among other things, difficult subjects to talk about without being self-serving or cheaty. But I tend to dig deep (though it may be little more than scab picking). If you can relate to what I'm talking about, you're welcome to read along and comment whenever you like. Thanks for visiting.