Monday, January 10, 2011

The Aftersmoke

I came to smoking late and I probably won't stop early. I don't think smokers exhale as deeply as they inhale, at least I don't. You get duped by seeing the air you are releasing. But if you bear down and exhale again, you'll see a little more smoke, the stuff that was just hanging around in there. You should get it out.

That's what happened to me today, when I learned that the jousters had given Dar away. It's as if all of me clenched for a second, bore down on my heart. There he was again, lingering in front of me like smoke. Now the path I sometimes still crazy-dream is gone. Will I never forget him?

7 comments:

Wolfie said...

Really sorry to hear this. :-(

Calm, Forward, Straight said...

Just spent some time reading your history with Dar. So sorry to hear this news...

Story said...

Such sad news. You never forget any of the horses of your past.

Annette said...

It seems like you had a very deep emotional bond with Dar. I don't think you'll ever forget him but hopefully the pain will ease in time. Sometimes the head and the heart just don't agree and you need to be safe. You gave it your best. He was lucky to have you.

Muddy K said...

Thank you all.

horsemom said...

I'm sorry, that is hard to find out when your horse has moved on again. Do they remember who he went to? Maybe you could stay in touch with the new owners.

Muddy K said...

HM, I do know where he went. It's just that, why start it up, you know? I know I have to let go of him; it's just been harder than I expected.